I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
