You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
