Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
