u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
