You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize