Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf

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(404): View more from Georgia

last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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(336): View more from North Carolina

There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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(678): View more from Georgia

What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.

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(941): View more from Florida

Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?

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(212): View more from New York

You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore

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