so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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