Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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