Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
