oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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