Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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