Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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