I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
