...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
