batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
