census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
