why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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