So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
