im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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