Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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