Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
birth control should be required to get into college
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
