That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
