sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
