He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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