I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
