haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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