she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize