you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
