Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
