puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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