So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
