You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize