you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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