Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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