Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
