the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
we should paint friendship bongs
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