dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
