I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
