just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize