So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie