where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
