...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Success! We fucked roommates!
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