If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
