ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
