His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
