Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
