Christians are straight up FREAKS
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
