Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
