Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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