As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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