You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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