found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
