jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Less talking, more tequila
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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