What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
