Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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