some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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