his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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