oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
