i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
