he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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