I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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