You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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