i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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