i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
