if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
